Coming to Hawaii has been a huge blessing, one which we are VERY grateful for. But, in between the beach hopping and other tropical adventures - namely the five days a week when James is at work - it's been challenging. Take away the fact that we're in Hawaii, and I'm left with being in a tiny town, living in a tiny apartment, with three young children and no car...as in NO car. We (me and the boys) walk over half a mile to the store, buy all the groceries that we can load on our umbrella stroller, and walk over half a mile back - we do this every couple of days. Simple things like doing the dishes, the laundry, and taking out the garbage have become huge tasks - apartment living with kids is a whole new ballgame! Add to that being stressed out in general, and unfortunately, my days don't always go as smooth as I would like.
Translation: Most days, the boys and I have stomped all over each other's nerves by morning snack time, and by the time James comes home in the evening, I'm struggling to hold it all together. Oh tragic, unhappy truth!
Every morning, I pray for the strength and guidance to be a good mom, and every night I pray for forgiveness as I wonder why we even had kids in the first place...
And then...
I find all three boys snuggled together on the couch as Matthew "reads"them a book.
And then...
As we walk home from church, Ethan's chubby hand tucked snugly in mine, he tells me about the Holy Ghost and how it gives you help when you need it.
And then...
Justin runs in huffing and puffing and wearing only a diaper and plants the biggest most slobbery kiss on my hand...
...and it's worth it.
I was reading a craft blog the other day, and came across the phrase "A different kind of riches", and it spoke to me.
We certainly don't have earthly riches, but we have been richly blessed.
Ours is a different kind of riches, and for that, I'm thankful.
1 year ago
6 comments:
Last time you had me laughing hysterically. This time you have me in tears. It is SO true. We have a different kind of riches. I remember an article by President Hinckley in an Ensign a couple of years ago talked about a mother from back in the Roman empire who was gathered with many other wealthy women who were pridefully showing each other their jewelry. When she was asked about hers, she put her arms around her 2 young boys gathered around her skirts and said "these are my jewels." They grew up to become Gaius and Tiberius Gracchus --the Gracchi--"two of the most persuasive and effective reformers in Roman history." Reading that story helped to change my perspective of my children. Thanks for reminding me of that. Today was a day when I needed a reminder. :) Good luck with the grocery shopping and crazy long days. Pretty soon we will be back in Provo and back to a more normal (can we call it normal?) lifestyle. :)
I looked up that article for my own benefit (and so that I could remember who her boys grew up to become). Here it is if your interested: http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=0f6920da30286110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
Heather, dear! I'm so sorry that you have no car. I complain about being stuck in Provo while others are having adventures but as Ronell pointed out yesterday, "Our lives are pretty good." As selfish as it is, it's good to know that I'm not the only one wondering why I had kids and whether wanting to have more makes me a masochist or just insane. Before you know it, you'll be back here and you can drop your kids off to wreak havoc with mine while you take your car and go grocery shopping without the chaos. Seriously, my little condo is already a mess, what's three more boys adding to it? :-)
P.S. I LOVEd Kristen's comment. Isn't it good to know that MBASA works.
I loved this post Heather. And I loved reading Kristen's comment above regarding the Gracchi boys. Know you're not alone. I too have days when I wonder if this is all worth it and if it is normal to feel so overwhelmed. I get totally exhausted doing my laundry here- we don't have a w&d either, so it feels like such a daunting chore to have to go with kids in tow to the laundromat.
And your adventures in Paradise post below got me thinking- I think Hawaii is a sort of paradise, that years from now you'll probably remember it as being a paradise, but when you are living it- it can feel really hard! Hawaii has some quirks that vacationers don't always realize- like not having a car, insanely priced groceries (I remember cereal being like 10 or 11 bucks!), the bugs- roaches, geckos, and termites, etc drove me nuts too. And you are amazing for doing this with all your kiddos!
I love the way you are so honest in your postings and sharing with the rest of us how things really are. Keep up the great writing/accounts.
I loved your post. Because I have moments like this too. Where I wonder if there is anything good at all about the place of life I'm in. And then I'll have some little wake up call to remind me that there is so very much good and that it really is all worth it.
That is rough to not have a car, pregnant, three little kids, and yet...I'm not crying for you. You're in hawaii. Can you tell I'm totally jealous? Plus, its only a few more weeks. If it was the rest of your life, that would be horrifying. Good luck.
Lisa
ps. britt misses matthew, and bj misses kiki..
Reading this post reminded me of what life was like when you, Brett, Robb and Brooke were little. It takes a tremendous amount of energy to raise a family, but looking back now, it is sooo worth it! Dad and I love you so much and are so proud of you and how you and James are raising the boys!
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